Let Go of Control: 4 Mindset Shifts That Will Set You Free
One of the most powerful skills you can develop is the ability to release control. And I don’t mean losing control of yourself—I mean letting go of the need to control your surroundings and other people.
If you’re constantly chasing perfection, micromanaging your family, or only feel at peace when everything goes exactly your way… I’m willing to bet you’re carrying a lot of stress.
Learning to let go of what was never yours to carry in the first place? That’s where real peace begins.
You’re about to learn 4 powerful tactics that will help you finally stop stressing over things you can’t control. These aren’t fluffy, feel-good ideas—they’re real, practical mindset shifts that can change the way you show up for yourself every single day.
- Starting with the little things
- How to let it out and let it go through journaling
- How to respond vs react in emotionally charged situations
- How to set boundaries without guilt
Learning to let go of control doesn’t mean giving up. It means recognizing what’s yours to carry and what’s not. It means knowing where your power begins and where it ends. And most importantly, it means looking inward.
1. Start Small
Letting go doesn’t have to begin with a massive life change. Start with the little things. When you feel yourself getting wound up about something, pause and ask:
- Is this my responsibility?
- Can I actually change this?
- Is this within my control?
If the answer is no, shift your energy. Focus on controlling yourself, your emotions, and your body. This gives your mind and body a chance to re-center.
Ask yourself:
- Why is this triggering me?
- What part of myself do I need to nurture right now?
Remind yourself that this is not about you. It is about someone or something else, and you don’t need to waste your energy on it.
2. Let it Out and Let it Go
Sometimes, we need to physically see what we’re holding onto before we’re ready to let it go. Grab a journal and write down every thought weighing you down.
For this, I like to use a basic lined one with no prompts like this Paperage Journal. It’s sturdy and comes in all the pretty colors.
Then go back through and cross out what isn’t in your control. Here are some examples:
- Partner came home grumpy? Their mood probably has nothing to do with you.
- Worried about the weather? We can’t part the clouds.
- Stressed about business growth? Forcing it doesn’t work.
- Someone doesn’t like you? You could show up perfectly and still get judged.
- Regret about your past? You can’t rewrite it—but you CAN write your next chapter.
This process creates distance. It gives you the gift of perspective—like seeing your situation through someone else’s eyes. Not your inner critic. Not your fear. Just your grounded self.
For my guided journal people: the Let That Sh*t Go Journal is a ton of fun. Its profanity-laced pages help you laugh your way to clarity when you’re mentally tapped out.
Need more help with mindset? The 7-Day Mindset Reset is a free email series that helps you shift negative thoughts and feel more grounded, calm, and confident.
3. Respond, Don’t React
We all find ourselves in emotionally triggering situations. But our emotions are not anyone else’s responsibility—they’re ours to deal with.
Scenario: Your partner forgot something important
Reacting (Emotional Whiplash Style):
You explode the second they walk in. You slam cabinets, cry, spiral. You feel ignored and out of control. And nothing gets resolved.
Responding (Grounded Adult Energy):
You pause. You regulate your emotions before choosing your next move. You stay grounded and clear.
- Breathe, walk away, squeeze a stress ball
- Identify your root emotion
- Ask: What’s the next best step? What is my ideal outcome?
Then say:
I’m really hurt right now. I was looking forward to tonight and when you didn’t show, I felt forgotten. Can we talk about what happened?
This doesn’t mean you can’t be angry. It just means you’re taking back control of your response instead of being ruled by reaction.
4. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
If you’re working on your mental health, it’s time to stop managing everyone else and start honoring YOU—your peace, your energy, your healing.
Boundaries are not cold or mean. They’re clarity. They say, “This is what I need to feel safe and supported.”
Helpful read: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover. The companion Workbook is packed with prompts, checklists, and reflection tools.
Guilt might show up—but that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something new. And new is where the growth lives.
Your Power Lies Within
You can’t control the weather. Or other people’s behavior. Or what tomorrow will bring. But you CAN control how you respond, what energy you bring, and whether you choose to hold on or let go.
Practice control from a place of self-love. Reclaim your peace by taking care of the only thing that was ever really yours—you.
